beboots: (lithograph)
[personal profile] beboots
Also, LJ just ate my post. Curses! But maybe I'll write this next version in a less negative light.

In short, I feel crappy. ... Or, at least, like a horrible daughter/sister/whatever. Okay, here's how it goes:

My father made it safely to Delhi to compete in the Commonwealth Games. Huzzah! No complaints there. He happens to be flying back home on the same day that my mother and brother, Ian, are leaving for a trip to England. They're going to be visiting my mum's mum and doing some sightseeing in London and in Scotland. My sister and I aren't going because we're poor miserable fourth year university students and will be in the middle of midterm exams and embroiled in research papers. We've mostly gotten over it; this will be a mother-son trip. No real complaints there.

So dad will be arriving at the Edmonton airport around the same time that Ian and mum's flight leaves. They may or may not see each other actually at the airport. Now, what's the most logical thing to do? Have either Danielle (my sister) or I drive Ian and mum down there and stick around for an hour or so while dad clears customs and then drive him back home.

Now, on any other day - or even later in that same day - I would be totally up for this. It's a bit of a hike down to the airport, what with construction, but it would only take about an hour, maybe an hour and a half of driving (one way). So what with hanging around the airport waiting for dad this would be about a four hour endeavour, door-to-door. Again, I would normally have no problem being the dutiful daughter/chauffeur.

Danielle can't do it; she's moved out, and needs the money this scheduled eight hour shift she has will bring her. I totally respect that. She can't change her shift, although she's willing, as she's already changed her schedule twice recently with a cranky boss. Then there's her coworkers on vacation, short-staffed-ness, etc.,etc., I understand. I should be the one to do this.

BUT this is the date of the Bellerose anime festival, our local convention. It's one of the most comfortable and amicable conventions that I've ever been to. I've invited folks to come out, and I want to make things up to my good friend with whom I'm doing a group cosplay for not being there for her at animethon when her skirt malfunctioned. We only got a single group shot at a three day convention in August.

But in the grand scheme of things, what's more important? Myself attending an anime festival, or all of this? I feel completely selfish. Mum was talking about taking a taxi, and they're ridiculously expensive.

Right now the plan is for me to drop mum & Ian off at a hotel in downtown Edmonton for the shuttle bus to the airport, which is about a quarter of the price of a taxi. This means that I'll arrive a few hours late for the festival, but I see no problem with that. I just feel like a dick because dad will have to take a taxi home after a really long flight. Mum's other plan was to drive herself and Ian to the airport and either chase down dad before they board somehow to toss him the keys, or leave the keys at the info desk. So many things could go wrong with that scenario.

I still feel selfish. But it'll probably be my last day of fun before exams finish in December, guys. I'll have too many midterms and readings and papers and things to do to have a full day of actual fun. And if I do end up missing out on this festival I feel like I'll be terrible company and bitter for weeks on top of not being about to go on this trip. Piss.

Date: 2010-10-02 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Taking care of yourself is just as, if not more, important as taking care of the people around you. I know society likes to teach women that we have to sacrifice everything for family, friends, and people in need, but if you don't do self-care, you will burn out and it will get messy.

Date: 2010-10-02 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I THINK that the compromise with me driving them to the bus shuttle downtown will work. It's a halfway point, you know? ...And maybe I'll pick some nice supper up for dad on my way back from the convention, so he doesn't have to cook for himself while jetlagged...?

But thanks for your two cents. :) You are right about societal expectations for women. And mum seems cool with this plan.

Date: 2010-10-03 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's good to take care of your family, but they're getting to have fun on trips themselves, so why should you sacrifice this one thing for them to faciliate their travel? It's not like they have to cancel their plans.

And congrats to your dad!

Date: 2010-10-03 03:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"but they're getting to have fun on trips themselves, so why should you sacrifice this one thing for them to faciliate their travel?" ... That's a very good point! I never thought of it in that way! Thanks. :)

(At the very least, I think that it's all sorted; that shuttle bus thing is an excellent compromise.)


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