I'm having a tough time of it

[beboots]

My mother has always told me that HER mother used to always tell her "don't quit your current job until you're hired for your next one." Good advice. I should have followed it.

I'm not sure how much I've mentioned here in this journal, but I was crying a few hours ago and I might still cry again today, so I thought that I'd write this down somewhere. I've talked about this with my father and my sister, but I really think I need to get my thoughts pinned down in solid writing so I can see if I can come up with a good solution.

Okay, here's the deal: I'm going away for a three week (and a bit) trip this summer to Ireland and Scotland. Which in itself is AWESOME. I'm going with several friends of mine from my history classes. I'm actually meeting them in Dublin, halfway through THEIR trip, after they've spent nearly a month in England and Wales. I can't really afford nearly two months in the British Isles, no matter how much I want to, and I booked my trip under the assumption that I'd have Fort Edmonton training to deal with, and... yeah...

So I don't have the Fort Edmonton job. The interview went really well, but because of the recession, they're only hiring a limited number of people, and they all have to be able to be almost completely free, all summer. Like, they can't hire you if you're going away for more than five days straight. It's okay, I understand, and the supervisor who called me up afterwards was very nice about it (it's not personal, they actually rather like me, please don't be a stranger), and I think the worst thing is that I definitely understand their position, and I can't do anything about it.

They even put my resumé on the list for hiring for the Midway, even though I didn't apply for that position, but again, I was cut because of my limited availability. The park is only open for four months a year, so I'd be missing nearly a quarter of my shifts.

Two days ago, I interviewed for a job that was, quite frankly, completely ideal: historical interpreter position at the Father Lacombe Chapel in St. Albert. It's within biking distance, I'd get to wear a nice outfit, talk to people about history all day, do crafts with kids, do research on slow periods... also, it paid better than Fort Edmonton. The interview went super well, and I walked away going "YEAH I NAILED it" and the ladies said they'd call back soon... and I got an e-mail this morning saying that sorry, yeah, we can't hire you because June is our busiest season, and we need all of our interpreters to work it. Sorry, but enjoy your trip!

I didn't realize how much I had my heart set on that job until I started crying about fifteen minutes later. God, I'm tearing up right now.

I've applied for a few other places, but none of them will be anywhere near as awesome as the historical interpreter positions I just talked about. I've looked at a typist for inputting historical documents into a database, a janitor-type role at a hospital within biking distance of my house... where else? I know I've applied elsewhere... Well, I'm going to apply at Chapters, the book store, but I think that they've already hired everyone for the summer... That's the problem - most of the deadlines were in like, January, February and March. All that's left is retail, restaurants and Starbucks, it seems.

Oh, and I have an interview in the week after exams for the Antique Photo Parlour, which wouldn't be BAD, but I have no idea how many hours I'd get, how much the pay would be, or even if they'd hire me - again, this trip. And I wouldn't find out if I got the job until a week or so after exams are over.

Essentially, I could be looking at not working for a month, between the last of my exams and when I leave for Ireland. Which would be horrible. I'm not about to get thrown into the street for lack of money - I'll manage until I have to pay for my second semester's tuition in January - but I'll go stir-crazy.

I mean, I know that I could probably walk into any clothing store, supermarket or Starbucks and get a job. But would I enjoy working there? No.

Anyway, I'm thinking of maybe applying at a few golf courses? Or something? I'm just kicking myself, too, for not applying for that $5000 research scholarship, because I figured that I wouldn't have time to do any research this summer, what with the trip and my job at Fort Edmonton... no luck. No luck at all.

So if any of you guys have heard of any good temporary jobs in the Edmonton area, let me know, please...? Right now, I'm pinning my hopes on the Antique Photo Parlour, but then again, I pinned my hopes on the Father Lacombe Chapel people, and I've been in tears twice today. So we'll see how this works out.

But hey, at least I'll probably have time to write something this summer? Maybe this will be the year that I write a complete novel...? And maybe I'll get some camping in, or something.

Right now, I'm just worried and stressed, right at the most stressful time of year - the week before exams. Let's see if I survive until I finish my last exam on April 23rd. I'll live, I think. My chest just feels tight, my face is blotchy, and my eyes are red.

Comments

[avocado-love.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I can sympathize with you on the job front. That... sucks. I'm glad you stuck to your guns and continued on with the trip, though.

The job search really isn't as bad as the media is making it out to be, at least in my neck of the woods. Since losing my job in Feb, I've gotten hired at two other locations. So I have hope for you!

Part of me can't help but think this is all hitting you a little harder than usual because, like you said, it's the week before your exams and so it's stressful all around. Just hang in there. After its over I think it'll be better. *hugs again*

[beboots.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that I'm still going on the trip, too. I mean, at one point I think that my dad suggested that if it came down to going on the trip or getting a job, maybe I should have cancelled my trip, but I probably would have cried over that, too. My brother has reminded me that it'll probably be something I'll talk about for YEARS, and I'll forget about my worries completely when I get on that plane.

I hope so.

Thank you for your positive thinking! That's what I need right now. Really, it's not that I'm unqualified or am an undesirable person - it's the fact that everyone wants people who can pour their entire hearts into their jobs, right? Who aren't going to be going away for more than, oh, say, a week or something, right?

Maybe I'll actually have a break this summer. That would be something novel. Maybe I'll drag some friends out on a four day long camping trip in the Rockies or something?

I agree with you - I think that it's just stress heaping up on me at once. Literally a week from today, I'll be home-free. I've just got to weather the storm, duck down, and keep studying.

Speaking of which... I should probably actually stop checking for updates on livejournal and actually DO some of that studying...

But I really do want to thank you for your concern and kind words. It really does mean a lot to me. *hugs*

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

*gets out the hairbrush and works on Beboots's hair* Things will work out, darling.

[beboots.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your kind words. :)

And how did you know that I love having my hair brushed by other people? Seriously, it's one of the most soothing things ever... especially if you have ridiculously long hair like me.

Also, my mother just came into my room not twenty minutes ago and gave me a long talk about how everything is going to be okay. I'm not going to get kicked onto the street for lack of money or anything, and if going stir-crazy is the problem, she's suggested some volunteering jobs... I'm feeling a BIT less anxious now. But a few hours ago, I literally was sniffing and on the verge of tears for a long period of time. You know, when you feel so negative you feel like there's something sitting on your chest? Yeah.

I need to get my aura cleansed or something. Seriously. (I can already see the fact that I'm feeling a bit better in my writing. This is good.)

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

Hairbrushing has always struck me as very soothing when I don't know if someone has touch-related issues. (Me, I love having other people wash my hair. Oh god, so nice.)

Volunteering is an excellent thing. When I was going stir-crazy from my own inability to find a job last year, I started volunteering at the local art museum. It got me out of the house at least once a week and made me interact with other people. I really loved it and kind of regretted my job getting in the way of my volunteering time.

I know how that feels. For me, my heart gets heavy.

Go find a nice local spa and get a massage or get your nails done or otherwise do something nice for yourself. It'll make you feel better.

[beboots.livejournal.com]

A new women's hospital opened up in the city, this week. My mum has been working on the project for the last like, four years, and apparently they'll be needing volunteers this summer to be friendly and direct people... so I may end up becoming one of those.

That, or I could be sneaky and try to get brownie points by volunteering at Fort Edmonton one or two days a week. That way, I can keep my foot in the door, you know?

... Interestingly enough, several of the supervisors heard that I had written a paper on Fort Edmonton for my native history class, and they still want to see it! I figure that if I edit it so it's a bit more presentable, and volunteer, really, I'll be a shoo-in next year... I was supposed to be a shoo-in this year (one of the supervisors had already "dibsed" me), but it was just the constraints of hiring this year. I know of at least a dozen other people who should have been interpreters this year who are in the exact same boat as me. So I know it's nothing personal, and I have to keep telling myself that...

[kuiskata]

*big hugs* It sucks that you haven't found anything yet. I really hope everything works out for you with the Antique Photo Parlour. Even if you don't get as many hours as you would like, at least it's still work. (Or, berring that, I hope you happen across something really awesome that doesn't midn the fact that you'll be away for three weeks during the summer.)

Do you know if any professors in your department are hiring any students to help work on research projects this summer? From what I've heard, a lot of these kinds of jobs aren't announced anyway; you have to go and ask to find out.

I suppose if nothing at all works out, there's always volunteering. (And if you do some volunteering at the Fort, even if they can't hire you, it'd keep you well in their good books for next summer.)

[beboots.livejournal.com]

Volunteering is a good thought. I'm probably going to end up doing so, once I've figured out just what I'm doing after exams... Also, brownie points = yay?

I've also been sneakily asking my research supervisor about that very idea. I sent her an e-mail asking what she was up to this summer, mentioned that I haven't found a job, will probably be around campus a lot doing research (and thus the reason I asked - to see if she'll be available to ask questions)... and now I wait. She may know of a university job opportunity for me. Who knows? We'll soon see...

[kuiskata]

Brownie points are always good to have.

With any kind of luck, she will have an opportunity or two for you. I shall send good vibes your way.

[beboots.livejournal.com]

Thanks, m'dear. :) *hugs*